Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Coming Anniversary

Last year I celebrated my not-quite-Ides-of-February anniversary week by giving the details in a which-is-the-true-story contest.

Sharing the real story with new friends is often difficult. So often people respond with fear or pity. Both reactions feel very uncomfortable. But NOT telling people feels like I am lying or at least hiding some important part of myself.

Since last year I've become friendly with a set of people with whom I have not yet shared this story. One of my goals for this week--a week I always spend contemplating what this anniversary means at this point--is to figure out how to share it without making it seem like a bigger deal than it is.

Clearly it isn't going to be as straightforward a process as I would like it to be, given that it is even hard to refer to it in writing. And writing, at least for me, is a lot easier than talking.


beadlizard said...

On most days I can "pass for normal" if the exposure isn't too long. I rather enjoy having a few simple relationships with people who do NOT know my story. Not much depth or resonance, more a clear blue sky. Know what I mean? --syl

TheAmpuT said...

You know, I read the posts last year, and couldn't even begin to think of what to say as a comment. It's just one big stor you have there.
I guess what I would like to tell you that our situations are very different, it really touched me to the point of speechlessness. I had only been dating TheMostImportantGuy in my life for 3 months when I landed in the hospital with some awfully big physical changes. He came to see me every day, and we are still together and love each other in a very special way.
Happy Anniversary.

The Purloined Letter said...

Beadlizard: Thank you. I TOTALLY know what you mean. Clear blue sky is such a great metaphor for what "passing" feels like--and it works in simple relationships well. If you're spending a lot of time with folks, you start to feel like you have to spend so much energy passing that you relax when the clouds finally come. This particular group of folks are folks with whom I am now ready to have more than simple relationships.

AmpuT: Wow! I didn't realize that TheMIG and David have such an important role in common. There is something so amazing about what they have given us, isn't there? Having someone reflect back acceptance at that very moment of change...


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