Thursday, June 19, 2008

Changing Directions

A morning of weeding in the garden, clipping clean whites to the clothesline to dry, and grinding corn for tonight's homemade cornbread made me feel alive, productive, sure of myself.

But the beautiful morning sun is now all clouds. The laundry hanging on the line no longer looks like some great artist's portrayal of Tuscany or Provence. I've pulled on a long-sleeve shirt to cope with the chill in the air.

This afternoon I find myself feeling lost, feeling that I am in some world other than the one I was planning on.

I have been reading a novel that has affected me profoundly. It is an interesting book, well-enough written, but certainly not high literature. Nonetheless, it has somehow wrung so much out of me that I find myself in tears, afraid.

Finally I put the book down, with only about 100 pages until the end.

I don't know whether I should read on, hoping for some sense of resolution that will allow me to get past the place I am now, or return the book to the library and go read some cozy mystery.

It is time for a pot of tea.

6 comments:

Mikaiya said...

I am so glad to read this post and see how reading can affect other people in the same way it often affects me. You're wise to choose the pot of tea- sometimes the heart-breaking or intense books need to be abandoned, at least temporarily, especially on blustery days that belie it being summer.

I am, of course, amazed at your morning productivity...

el said...

Good golly do tell what the book is, even if it ain't highfalutin. I find sometimes that some books act as last straws that kind of compel me toward the way I was leaning anyhow. If it's really bad juju, I would leave the last 100 pages just sit there until I am "over" whatever it is.

Chile said...

I, like Mikaiya, am happy to see I'm not alone in being seriously impacted by books. In fact, I just finished a book yesterday that I was reluctant to finish. I did not want the story to end nor did I want to leave these characters behind when I closed the back cover of the book. There are books that I finding myself reading over and over again, sometimes catching myself thinking that maybe, just maybe, the book won't end this time. When I turn the last page, new pages will have magically appeared. Usually the best I can realistically hope for is a sequel newly released by the author.

Enjoy your tea and your reading.

Madeline said...

Yes, please tell the book's name! I am intrigued. I am the same way with books. Right now, I am doing research on Ireland and on the history of gmos and am so emotional about it all as I read that it is hard to let go of it sometimes.

The Purloined Letter said...

I promise to write about the book soon. After taking the afternoon off, I did finish the book and I think it made it easier to move on.

Danielle said...

Ahhhh, this is why I no longer read fiction. Lord knows I read enough along the way to my PhD, and anymore I find it affects me too much to be useful to any of my meaningful relationships. I tend to live the drama, and that doesn't make for a good mama. ;)

I figure there'll be time enough for fiction again once my babes are grown.

Looking forward to hearing what got to you so....

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